If any of you ever get a chance to spend 40 days with a hot, Argentinean guy…by all means say YES!
Now, the rational women out there might be thinking – huh?!? Why would I want to knowingly participate in such a short lived romance with no future?
Well, let’s see. I met a gorgeous guy in Brooklyn (where all the hot guys are…or are from) and we had great chemistry. I find out that he’s been here 16 months, lives 2 blocks away from me, and is moving to Madrid. Hmmmm. Somehow, this info didn’t deter, but intrigued. I wanted to dive in. Literally. Head first. (or second… ;) )
On our first date we did the math, and realized we had exactly 40 days.
OK…here’s the thing. I believe we all live (sadly) by self imposed rules and constructs, especially around dating. Well, my (female) friends, it’s truly freeing to not care about how long one should wait to say – or do – this, that and the other thing. Especially the other thing.
Reading about “letting go” and “living in the moment” and actually DOING it are two entirely different things…because reading about it is boring. We wined, dined, walked, talked, and many other things I won’t mention because my Dad reads this blog.
What made it so fun and liberating is that neither of us had any interest in a future. That may sound cold, but reality often is. We were interested in the present. Well, I was interested in his great hair and sexy accent and he was interested in ending his New York experience with an experienced New Yorker. And in the space of 40 days, we accomplished a very sweet, intense and ultimately satisfying relationship. Kind of like a good glass of Malbec.
Now, of course, this relationship-ette wasn’t all kisses and Cortázar, we hit a couple bumps. The 2 most notable – when he found out I walk 20 blocks to take the 4/5 and avoid the F train. He went ballistic. He passionately defended the F train and declared it The Best Train In The World. WTF??? No one likes the F train!! They have entire websites dedicated to how shitty it is. And on we argued. Another time was when we got together and I forced my…umm…agenda on him. He loudly complained “oh my God…you’re too aggressive! Too horny! Too……American!!!” HAHAHA!! Seriously, I have never been more proud of my nationality. Yeah baby!!
Interestingly, his grasp of the English language kind of ebbed and flowed. While he had trouble with prepositions and told me on a Saturday night that he had spent the day “walking on the sun” he surprisingly had no trouble at all with big words that led to seduction. While packing up his furniture he emailed me “first, I disassemble my armoire, then…I come over and disassemble you.” OK, how can he not get in/on…yet understand disassemble?!?!
Back to the point of this story. Because of circumstance I broke out of some habitual patterns that probably weren’t doing much for me. The outcome was wonderful and I learned some valuable lessons. So, I ask you this. Why don’t we approach ALL relationships – especially the ones we want to have for 40 years, as though we only had 40 days? I guarantee you will rethink the games, the drama, the hope, the fear, the manipulations and the misery. If you ONLY HAD 40 DAYS, how would you spend it with your significant someone?
As for you, 40 Days, mi dios babe. Thanks for the gorgeous memories. And I look forward to our rendezvous in Paris this summer. I suggest you start resting up now…broad stripes and bright stars can be a lot to handle. ;-)